Beached Whale

People frequently use the phrase "beached whale" to describe how they feel during the last month of pregnancy. Having now lived through about half of my last month, I can officially say that it's not entirely accurate. Mostly I just feel hugely, enormously fat. I feel like not only is my belly so big that i keep miscalculating its circumference and bumping into things, but my ass and thighs seem to be nine months pregnant as well. So whale-like, maybe. Beached, no.

I'm still able to get up and do things and take walks and can even, slowly, make my way up four flights of stairs when I take the subway. Bending over is hard, and to get out of bed I need to get a little bit of momentum going so I can rock myself upright, then swing my legs over the side of the bed. But mostly I imagine that this is how an obese person feels. A beached whale feels something entirely different - mostly oh my god I'm going to die because I'm a whale and I'm not in the ocean.