Boys

"So the other day on The View* they were talking about autism," I said to Steven last night.

"Oh for God's sake, Milo isn't autistic."

"I know. I'm just saying. They said it's now like 1 in 150 or something, but they keep changing the diagnosis and stuff, so who knows."

"Isn't there some kind of mild autism now?"

"Yes, Asperger's Syndrome."

"Ass Burger's Syndrome?"

"No. Asperger."

"Ass Burger?"

"Asperger! With a P!"

"Oh. I thought there was a Dr. Ass Burger out there somewhere."

I rubbed my forehead. "If I have to live in a house full of boys I might shoot myself. And now there are two of you."

"I know," said Steven. "It's going to be so great."

*Note to those who are alarmed by the fact that I am watching The View: They review books. I wrote a book. It is for research purposes only.