My Internet, Myself

So I have this program that allows you to see how people get to your web site, and it tracks search phrases. And while some people reach this site by searching on my name or my book, others reach it totally by accident by Googling the phrase "chunky baby spitup," among others.

Seeing what people search on provides a fascinating insight into the mind of the Internet user, and I have come to two conclusions. First, people are weird. Second, people have absolutely no understanding of how the Internet works. Does the woman who Googled "will my hips go back post partum" think that the Internet is sort of like a giant 8-ball? Did the person who Googled "hana-schank" just hit the wrong key or do they really think my name is a hyphenated phrase?

I offer to you now a sampling of phrases people have searched on to reach this site:

• making womens boobs produce milk
• eating laughing cow cheese while pregnant
• strapping balloons to your chest
• post partum months lumpy stomach
• uncontrolled burping

Clearly I am a resource for all things pregnancy and post-partum related, which is scary given that I know little on those topics. On the other hand, I do know all about eating Laughing Cow cheese while pregnant because I pretty much lived on the stuff for nine months. As for the person who was interested in strapping balloons to his or her chest, all I can say is... welcome!