Viral Mothering

A few months ago, when both Milo and I were sick with the Plague, coughing and sneezing and running fevers and generally feeling crappy, I complained to someone about how much it totally sucked to not only be sick, but to also have to care for a sick baby at the same time. I used to almost relish my visits with the flu. I liked being able to drag my pillow and duvet out into the living room and snuggle up on the couch, I loved lying around in my pajamas all day and watching bad daytime television totally guilt-free.

But now being sick just totally sucks. Because not only do I feel crappy, but I don't get to lie around and revel in my illness. Instead I have to function and care for someone who feels just as bad as I do, if not worse.

So I was explaining all this to someone a few months back, and told her how I just wanted to lie on the couch and I wished Milo could just lie on his couch and leave me alone so I could reccuperate.

"Yeah," said whomever I was talking to (I've long since forgotten who it was). "But when you're sick you want your Mommy."

I nodded in agreement, and only moments later did I realize she didn't mean that I wanted my Mommy, she meant that Milo wanted his Mommy. And then I felt sorry for Milo because he didn't have a Mommy who would take care of him when he felt crappy and who would comfort him and bring him soup. And then I realized that I could, in fact, be that Mommy. And since then things have been different between me and Milo, ever since it dawned on me that for him, strange as it seemed, I was the person who was supposed to Make It All Better.

I'm sick again, which is partially why this blog has been quiet lately, and this time I'm doing my best not to make Milo sick. Because as much as it sucks for me to be sick, it sucks about a thousand times more for Milo to be sick.

Now if only I could get Steven to bring me some soup.