Milo Spits

I think you're not really a parent until you've been projectile vomited on at 2AM. Preferably by a toddler who then cries out in horror, "Aaaaaahhhh! You spit on Mama!". (Milo talks about himself in the second and third person, having not quite sorted out that whole confusing pronoun business.)

What you want to do in this circumstance, of course, is to scream back, "Omigod! Grrrrrrrrrooooooooosssssssssss!" , drop the toddler to the floor and then run headlong into the shower. Instead what you do is say that it's ok and explain that it's called throwing up, not spitting, and that everyone does it, even Oscar the cat. If all goes well you will then get to listen to dramatic re-enactments of throwing up for the next few days.

"Milo throwed up," these re-enactments will go. "Milo goed like this," followed by retching sounds. Oh, if only everything were as much fun as puking.