Proof that the End of the World is Nigh

Here's a little snippet I received in my in-box today, about a recent book deal:

Peter Manus's FICKLE, told in the form of the main character's blog, the narrator tells her readers that she has witnessed an apparent suicide, setting in motion a chain of events that puts herself in danger, to Ken Siman at Virgin, by John Silbersack at Trident Media Group.

To reiterate, this is a book TOLD IN THE FORM OF A BLOG. I can't help but wonder, are they going to have a real live blog about the book that is in the form of a blog? And then will they write a book based on the blog about the blog-book?

I am now officially adding "blog" to my List Of Words That Help You Get A Book Deal. Other words on the list:
- Bitch
- Martini
- Nation (see: Fast Food Nation, Prozac Nation)
- Lipstick

Summer Reading, In Case Anyone Is Interested

I am currently trying to figure out what I'm going to write next, so I'm doing a lot of reading, mostly about motherhood and the different ways people write about it. Also I'm reading satire because that might be something I want to do. Maybe. I don't know. In any event, I'm open to suggestions.


This weekend I finished The Mommy Myth: The Idealization of Motherhood and How it Undermines All Women. As a result I now either want to start organizing women to lobby Congress for government-sponsored daycare, or I want to write a business plan for an affordable national daycare chain that also does your laundry and grocery shopping. Either way, this book has changed my life in some significant way that has yet to be revealed. It's a little dogmatic at times, but definitely a must-read for mothers. One of the authors has a terrific article up on In These Times about why women don't like Hillary Clinton. So, I pretty much want to be Susan J. Douglas, is what it boils down to.


I also finished The Brambles a few weeks ago. It was, um, okay I guess. It's hard for me to tell with fiction. The characters were well-drawn, but not much happens, and I felt like there was a lot left unsaid about motherhood and, like, why the characters did what they did.


And I read some chick-lit and in case anyone wants to write some, here's the formula: woman who hates her life makes a new friend, changes her life for the better (usually involving miraculously getting a new job), and also finds a guy. Or gets pregnant and has a baby. Either ending works.


Right now I'm making my way through David Lodge's Small World, which is funny primarily if you're married to someone getting a degree in literature, but also a good lesson on how to write terrific satire. I've only just started the book, but already there's a character named Miss Maiden who specializes in phallic imagery in literature. Somehow that doesn't seem as funny when I write it out, but trust me, it's funny. Expecially if you've ever had a conversation a literature professor.

Next up, based on assorted recommendations: Little Children, Thirteen Ways of Looking at the Novel, I Don't Know How She Does It (re-reading it), Life's Work, and Rattled. Any suggestions? Please let me know.

Adult Interpretations of Popular Children's Literature

1. Curious George
A tall, malnourished guy with a penchant for dressing in yellow steals a monkey, then neglects him, resulting in the monkey being taken to prison. In a desperate attempt to return to Africa the monkey escapes from prison, only to be deposited in a zoo where there are no other monkeys. Then everyone gets balloons.

2. Green Eggs and Ham
Sam I Am tortures the narrator with tainted ham and eggs.

3. The Little Engine Who Could
A train, overburdened with toys and spinach, breaks down on the tracks. A creepy clown comandeers another engine in order to bring the boys and girls on the other side of the mountain the toys and spinach. The little engine doesn't think she can make it up the mountian, but it turns out she can. Spinach for all!

4. Paddington Bear
A stuffed bear lives in a suitcase for a month, subsisting on marmalade and, presumably, drinking his own urine. He arrives in London and is promptly taken to tea by the Brown family.

5. The Cat in the Hat
A be-hatted cat, possibly fueled by a methamphetamine-induced mania, storms into a house and tries to balance a fish and a cake on his hat. When, predictably, this does not end well, the fish complains. Then the cat cleans up and leaves.

6. Blueberries for Sal
Sal's mother does not notice when her child disappears and she is stalked by a blueberry-crazed bear. Oddly, no one calls child protective services. Instead, Sal and her mother are reunited after Sal miraculously escapes being eaten by a different bear. Then they go home and can blueberries, despite the fact that Sal is something like 3-years-old and probably shouldn't be that close to boiling water.