What Would Godard Watch (if He Lived in Park Slope)?

Just in case anyone thought for a minute that people who live in Park Slope aren't as revoltingly artsy as those who live in other sections of the world's most artistically pretentious borrough, I refer you to the "what other people in your zip code are renting" feature on Netflix. While people in other zip codes are hording their copies of Snakes on A Plane or Bad Boys II, we're all about adventures in French surrealism.

An annotated sampling from the list of what our neighbors are watching:

1. A Life Apart: Hasidim in America
If this is being rented by residents of 11215 in order to better understand the hordes of Hasidim who live in nearby zip codes, then I applaud the open-mindedness of my neighbors. Alternately, it's being rented by Hasidim themselves, which seems sort of strange, but so is wearing a black wool coat in August.
Artsy-fartsy rating: 1 star

2. The Enigma of Kaspar Hauser
A Werner Herzog documentary about a German teengaer in 1828. Seriously, though, if you were going to come up with a joke title for a super pretentious foreign film, wouldn't this be it?
Artsy-farsty rating: 4 stars

3. Une Femme Est Unne Femme
Godard film #1
Artsy-fartsy rating: 5 stars

4. Weekend
Goddard film #2
Artsy-fartsy rating: 5 stars

5. Downtown 81
If there is anything we like as much as Godard, it would have to be starving underappreciated Brooklyn artists who shoot heroin and die young - in other words, this film about Basquiat.
Artsy-fartsy rating: 4 stars

6. Films of Kenneth Anger, Vol. 1
And German avant garde cinema! We love German avant garde!
Artsy-farsty rating: 6 stars - bonus star for being German not French

7. Crooklyn
Okay, this at least makes sense to me. A movie about Brooklyn is popular in Brooklyn. Fine.
Artsy-fartsy rating: 2 stars

8. Guiliani Time
I'm fine with this choice too. Understandably, people want to watch a movie about how much everyone hates Rudy.
Artsy-fartsy rating: 1 star

9. My Best Friend: Klaus Kinski
A documentary about famous documentary film makers. Well, fine, considering that you can't cross the street without running into a documentary filmmaker. One lives in our building and one rents an office down the hall from me and I barely know anyone.
Artsy-fartsy rating: 3 stars - I mean come on, it's about the relationship between two barely-famous documentary film makers

10. The Taking of Pelham One Two Three
So Godard isn't artsy enough for you? Werner Herzog too pedestrian? You know what's even better than being French New Wave or a German documentarian? Genre film from the 70s involving subway graffiti artists! Why limit your expression of irony to t-shirts that say "I Heart Cocoa Puffs" or trucker hats (which are so 2003 anyway) when you can be ironic in your Netflix queue.
Artsy-fartsy rating: -2 stars


And finally: full disclosure.
Number of films mentioned above that are in my Netflix queue: 2.
Which ones? I'll never tell.